Dec 27 2011


words. thoughts:
500 Knives (Tumblr). videos, snippets, links, comments, thoughts, poems, photos, oversharing, projects, distractions.

Picasa. Mostly photos from 16th & Mission.

The Red Sunglasses Project (Flickr). Everyone kept trying on my ridiculously huge red sunglasses, so I started taking pictures. It’s a thing.

Instagram/Inkstagram. Photos of cats, sarcastic buttons, San Francisco, fake tattoos, and street graffiti.

the plague:
Facebook. i’m here more than i’d like to be.

Google+. i’m not here very much at all.

Twitter. i hate twitter.

MySpace. old school.

Linked In. professional.

Plaxo. another professional social network.

Redroom. a social network for writers.

Nov 27 2011


Sometimes, I write words.

On the Web:

Maximum PC: where i spend my days writing, editing, posting feature stories, reviewing product and acting as de facto social media manager.

Broke Ass Stuart: diy projects for the broke-ass and crafty.

PCWorld: where i spent my days writing reviews and the consumer advocacy column.

InfoWorld: For six months, I wrote the Mobile Pulse column which covered mobile and smart phones from an enterprise perspective.

Spinning Platters: I reviewed a Metric show for them. I’d like to do it again sometime.

500 Knives: is my Tumblr blog of things i see, things i hear, things i love, things i listen to.

Transcriptions from the Porch: was an early Blogger account which attempts to transcript hilarious drunken conversations that happened on an infamous front porch at a San Francisco apartment. This is probably only amusing if you were there, and even then, probably not so much.

In Print:

Maximum PC: newsstands.

Young, Broke and Beautiful: Broke-Ass Stuarts Guide to Living Cheaply: my DIY post on how to infuse your own vodka is included in Stu’s latest book, which you should buy for everyone you know.

16th & Mission Review: Find these at the unparalleled Viracocha or via publisher seven7h tangent.The Contender appears in No. 1 The Crackhead Heckle, Intersection appears in No. II Before the Spray, All Systems Go appears in No. VI Sodden…No More, Walking Home in the Land of the Lotus Eaters appears in No. VII Adrift Upon A Pond of Bricks, Alien Boys…appears in No. XI In too few hours…daylight,

Altered Barbie “A Date with Barbie”: There’s video of this performance somewhere too, and in my defense, one should never throw back a shot of absinthe like that. The Open Letter appears in the printed book (but you can read it if you click the “Look Inside!” link at Amazon).

Jun 18 2011

The Red Sunglasses

Owning as I do, a notoriously poor memory, I’m at a loss to remember exactly where I was when I first stumbled upon the red sunglasses…. I feel like it was either Cleveland, Ohio in a costume store with my adorable friend Mel, or at the Standard Five and Dime on California in the middle of the yuppie strip mall.

Me, in the red sunglasses, on an Amtrak bus

While I can’t tell you how long ago this was, or where, I do concretely remember picking them up and remarking that – even for the time – these were some preposterously huge red sunglasses. This was back when celebutantes and socialites all favored some mega-bugged eyed specs but these, oh, these made the others look reasonable. I debated about it for a while, eventually darting back to grab them before checking out. Were they ridiculous? Yes. Did I sorta love them? Yes. Did I look good in them? Do you even have to ask?

Chad X rockin' the reds and a helluva moustache at the Zeitgeist - back when you could take photos at the Zeitgeist.

See…this is what wound up being the hilarious part about the red sunglasses: they’re so bulbously undeniable that they could not go without being remarked upon. I rocked them proudly in Dolores Park, on Muni buses, even at night at house parties and the red sunglasses went from being a conversation piece to being the item that everyone had to try on.

Patrick discovers that the red sunglasses go great with bacon and bloody marys.

Again, my memory leaves me grasping for details but it became an inevitability: whenever I wore them, someone else had to take ‘em for a test drive. This went on for a while before I started snapping photos – the first one, of my fella after we’d left Cassidy’s in the Soma on one of the last nights that it actually was Cassidy’s -it’s called the Bloodhound now and has birds decorating the walls… It was two or three in the morning and we were cutting across alleys, making out and looking for a taxi and he put on the red sunglasses and I took a grainy photo with my phone: a hulk of a man barely containing a grin, looking like an after hours roadie rockin’ some southern grandma’s borrowed eye wear. It went from there.

Mig, in the first photo featuring the red sunglasses.

I now have seventy photos of folks wearing the red sunglasses: family members, coworkers from old jobs, pets, roommates, friends and in one case, an inanimate object. Putting them all together had always been my plan, but in leiu of buying a photo printer and seventy frames, I’ve done it the easy way and just posted them online in a Flickr feed. Paging through them brings back faces, names, reminders … jobs have changed, people have moved, had children, disappeared… but they were here, it happened, I have the proof.

Even my grandma got in on the action.

I still have the red sunglasses too. They’re hanging with eight other pairs; held together with a blue cupcake bandaid and glued together in two other places, they’re pretty fragile these days and are more for nostalgia than fashion. I think that five or so years is a long time to push the life of a pair of sunglasses bought at some forgotten location for $15, but I won’t get rid of them until they fall apart into too many pieces to glue back together. Even then, these photos aren’t going anywhere, they’re online like little ghosts able to slip in and out of where ever they’re called to.

Sunglasses on the mascot for Bon Temps, a cajun restaurant in San Luis Obispo that I wish would reopen already.

May 28 2011

Most Days

are lost in a rush and a push of move, move, move. i’ve been trying to slow things down. “Forcible relaxation.” i said and you said “you can’t force relaxation. just. chill.” i found a better way to phrase what i meant, but have forgotten it now.
So i sat in our large, blue bed and stare at the light changing behind the curtains while birds chirp in ways that make me remember 4 a.m.’s
i got caught in a rainstorm today, riding the scooter, soaked through my jeans in moments. few things are as unappealing as a wet motorcycle seat.
also, i bought earrings.

(blackbird bazaar)

which reminds me, i have an instagram account. which led me to getting an inkstagram account. i guess instagram is a hipster application now. i’m too old now to know when things are hip. i catch them on their way out. this happens with bands a lot too. i’m too old to apologize.
anyhow. the instagram thing was inspired by photojojo’s 365 photo project (one photo a day). i tried it for three days and then forgot and abandoned it. now, i’m trying to remember again. a dangerous task if there ever was one. keep an eye on me.

Sep 6 2010

Altered Barbie Reading

Hey, hey kids, been gone a while being super busy. However, if you miss me/need to see me/are desperately stalking me then you’ll want to mark September 23rd in red on your calendars. I’ll be performing at the Altered Barbie Poetry Reading at Shotwell 50 Studios (located at 50 Shotwell). Reading is from 7 – 10pm. You can find more info here, or via Facebook. This will be my first performance in months, and my first performance of new material in…2? years? So, lace up those corsets and boots, shine those studs and spikes, put those pompadour’s and mohawk’s in order and make an evening of it! There will be dancing at the DNA-after party too!

Mar 31 2010

they’re gonna eat me alive, if i stumble

i think i had one of the best introductions to Metric -one hazy day last summer my bff had acquired two things: a red Ford Focus we call Betty Lou, and Metric’s cd Fanasties. we were driving north, windows down, headed towards a pitcher of watermelon tequilla drinks and a weekend of sunning ourselves with vampire novels in her parents backyard. “the cd i got from Amoeba is really good,” she says. “put it on” i tell her. roughly three and a half minutes later, Metric was officially on my to-do list. they were showing up on my radar screen in a major way. “help i’m alive, my heart keeps beating like a hammer?” are you fucking kidding me? awesome. and we’re singing along, speeding, finding a new Girl Rock Hero in Emily Haines.
so. when an old sweetheart gifted me with tickets to the Metric show at the gloriously redesigned Fox Theatre in Oakland, the first person I text is said BFF. And two short days later we whisked ourselves across the bay to see Ms.Haines & Co. whip the crowd into a sick dance party.
And how was the show? You ask.
Well, it was fuckin’ aces

mad scientist


Mar 28 2010

Video Killed the Radio Star

I was fortunate enough this past year to get to read as part of Litquake‘s 10th Annual Litcrawl (if you’re unfamiliar, it’s a city-wide week of performances, discussion and lit geekery that culminates in one night featuring dozens of readings happening at several venues), which is actually something I’ve desperately wanted to do for the past four or five years. My friend Steven Black grabbed some video of me performing the Intersection poem. Videos of the other performers (M.G. Martin, Charlie Getter, Brandon Loberg, Jon Siegel, etc) that night are available on the 16thMission site.

Mar 24 2010

Stop the madness! Never lose another lighter!

the 2010 Lighter Collection

Hey, check out my most recent post on Broke-Ass Stuart’s Goddamn Website! I give out details on my fav personal craft: deckin’ out yer lighters so no one can claim yer flame. Now, I’ve been doing this for a while – some of you I’m sure remember the first year I began passing them out – and it’s the best way I’ve found to brand your Bic. Hooray! Crafts for everyone!

Mar 21 2010

I’m writing for Broke-Ass Stuart now!

It’s true! I’m the new tech tips/DIY maven over at one of my favorite sites, Broke-Ass Stuart!
I should have something new up every week, which I’m sure I’ll be posting here. And FaceBook. And Twitter. Because I don’t already spend too much time in front of my ‘puter.
Anyhow, check out my first two posts: here and here.

Mar 9 2010

Hello world!

Welcome tBig Red Sunglasseso WordPress. This is your first post. Edit or delete it, then start blogging!